Grip of Grief

In time you think the death grip that grief has on you starts to lesson. You think it starts to fade a little and back off. A little light starts to shine again. Little things start to bring some joy. Life starts to have a bit of light in the darkness. But just as you start to feel like things seem to be getting better.

Grief grabs you again… and pulls you down and into the darkness.

It can be so unexpected and catches you off guard. It feels so lonely. No one else knows what your heart is feeling. You have to walk this road alone even though friends and family are right next to you. There is still a truth that you have to feel it all for yourself.

I thought the storm was starting to let up. I thought it was starting to fade and that maybe I would see a rainbow and rays of light through the clouds. But I think it was just in the eye of the storm. That clearing now seems gone. The storm seems to rage once again.

I’m grateful I have a Savior who is with me in the eye of the storm. He knows me better than I know myself. He crys with me. He knows my desires and my grief. He holds my boys when I can’t. I choose to trust You, Lord.

Today on the radio I heard this song and it really spoke to my soul. There were about 5 songs in a row that either I hadn’t heard before (this one), or were ones that have been life lines for me through this last year and a half. I could see God’s care and His messages spoken to me through the talet and songs of so many.

Thank you Jesus for each grace You show. That helps me see bits of You when all seems so dark and confusing. Thank you for taking my hand and leading me when I can’t see the way. When I don’t have the faith to press on, You seek me out and lift me up and carry me.

Eye of the Storm
Ryan Stevenson

When the solid ground is falling out, from underneath my feet,
Between the black skies and my red eyes, I can barely see
And when I’m feeling like I’ve let down by my friends and my family, I can hear the rain reminding me

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

When my hopes and dreams are far from me, and I’m running out of faith
I see the future I pictured slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face
I find my peace in Jesus’ name

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

When they let me go and I just don’t know how I’m gonna make ends meet
I did my best now I’d scared to death that we might lose everything
And when a sickness takes my child away, and there’s nothing I can do
My only hope is to trust You, I trust you Lord

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

Thank you, Jesus.