Just a quick update

Just a quick update

I feel like I have so much to say and yet not so much to say at the same time.  It’s been a hard past few weeks as evidenced by my last post.  Just a deep yearning for a new little one to join our family and yet that time hasn’t come.  It seemed that(…)

Though You Slay Me

Though You Slay Me

I’ve been having a pitty party lately. It’s spring and there is new life everywhere. Last week four friends announced new pregnancies to me. I love these Mamas and I love these little ones just conceived. I’m sad for me. I want that to be me. But it’s not. There is an emptiness. I miss(…)

Mother’s Day – Joy in Sorrow

Mother’s Day – Joy in Sorrow

I’m not usually sentimental, or a deep thinker. I don’t listen to my heart and allow myself to think, feel and be. I tend to be one to push through, carry on, and use will power to make things happen. But that’s changing. I’m learning to slow down, let myself think and feel. I’m allowing(…)

Book Review: {From A Heart of Stone}

Book Review: {From A Heart of Stone}

From A Heart of Stone By, Rachel Godfrey This is a new type of book review! But one that I’m excited about! This is written by a dear friend of mine. We became friends soon after I graduated nursing schools and was a baby nurse! She took me under her wing and shared much knowledge(…)

My Baby…

My Baby…

I miss my baby boy. He was due to be born today. But he won’t be. I did get to hold him this past November, but not nearly long enough. And I will never again get to hold him on this earth. I miss that… A lot.

What Next?

What Next?

What next? Such a hard question and yet an important one as well. How can we step into the next season of life if we don’t ask this question? And how do we evaluate what that next step should be? How do I think about what I want and also what God wants for me(…)

Book Review: {Holding onto Hope}

Book Review: {Holding onto Hope}

Holding onto Hope By Nancy Guthrie Books written by human hand and by divine inspiration are of so much comfort to the grieving soul. Often I don’t know what I’m feeling or don’t have the words to describe my inner yearnings or agonies, but someone else who has been there before has found the words.(…)

Book Review: {I Will Carry You}

Book Review: {I Will Carry You}

I Will Carry You By Angie Smith I originally wrote this post when I was pregnant with Jussi, but it got lost and was never posted.  It has since been found and all written is still very true and has been a book of great comfort to me in both of my losses. Instead of(…)

How Do I Help My Children with Their Grief?

How Do I Help My Children with Their Grief?

I feel so burdened for my children. Loosing these baby boys has been hard on me, but my children, too feel it. They were excited about having a new baby join our family and it was something we excitedly talked about on a daily basis. We still talk about the boys almost on a daily(…)

Every Day

Every Day

What does every day look like? It’s different. I hope it changes. I know it all won’t go away, but I want it to get a bit better. Grief is still so close to the surface. Someone can just say something kind or show they care and the tears will well up in my eyes.(…)